It’s been a more successful week than I thought. But only just. There’s been highs (The Descendants), lows (Like Crazy) and The Grey did so okay for itself that I’ll hardly mention it throughout. Yes it’s been an entirely average week at the box-office, so set your sights low and read on, because d’you know what? It’s going to be slightly interesting…and then of course I start talking about Jack and Jill and suffer a minor mental breakdown. Watching the trailer it’s hard not to really.

The Winner – The Descendants

Last week I predicted average things for The Descendants but happily I was proven somewhat wrong. My original thoughts? Another Alexander Payne indie tinged affair which doesn’t usually inspire massive box-office. However, with George Clooney at the handsome helm of the cast it was bound to bring in the punters and joy of joys this week it actually has. Far from Payne’s modest openings of yore (Sideways being his last example taking £350,000 from a paltry 72 screens) The Cloons (looking partially resplendent, left) has netted his latest effort £1,797,939 over the weekend from a whopping 403 sites. Due to the Oscar buzz surrounding the film you can expect it to be a steady performer over the next few weeks.

However the top spot it has not got as it was pipped to the post by Spielberg’s rampant War Horse which continues its unbridled domination of the charts. Surfing up it on a river of tears and now sitting atop a throne of sentiment it looks down it’s long face impervious to all comers for a third week in a row. Nevertheless, after dropping a million pounds from last weekend’s revenues this could be the last week at the top for our equine friend, although the £13,418,627 he‘s accrued thus far should be more than enough to keep Joey in hay for years to come and Spielberg (who’s soon to pass half a billion for the year in directorial projects alone) atop a pile of money soon to be visible from space.

The Loser – Like Crazy

Poor, poor Like Crazy. Critically well received, given a decent 104 sites in which to screen and with a cast featuring the promising Felicity Jones, it all looked like a sure fire ‘modest hit’ on paper. A weekend later and it’s struggled to even reach the £100,000 mark. The problem with these improvised, uncommercial ‘actor pieces’ is that short of getting some awards recognition (this of course needs to be more substantial than just coming third in Christian Science Monitor’s best of 2011) they’re never going to set the world alight.

Some seem to imply however that this makes them a tedious, protracted, self-indulgent affair and that no matter how hard they emote they’ll never do anything more than nudge at the wallets of young men on their first date everywhere. This obviously isn’t true. The surprisingly touching Once scooped an Oscar and $20 million (on a budget of $160,000) into its lovely understated guitar case before running back to Ireland in triumph. Likewise, Like Crazy has already garnered a respectable $3,395,391 worldwide after putting in $250,000 to production showing that there’s no need to pander to commercialism when there’s an open audience, you churn out a good product and your film costs a pittance. That and success in America which has clearly saved the day here, because whichever way you look at it less than £1000 a site is disappointing. It could and should have done so much better.

The Children’s Animation – A Monster in Paris

With Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked hanging on in the chart like a nasty case of high pitched, sing songy syphilis that you can’t quite get rid of for the last few weeks (essentially I hear it’s profoundly terrible) and the perfectly respectable Puss in Boots gracefully bowing out (both after almost two months on our screens), it was about time we had a new lure for the younger viewer. This has been cunningly provided by the apparently well received A Monster in Paris.

Whilst it hadn’t even entered my ever fallible film radar until last week when I tipped it for no other reason than it would draw the kids, draw the kids it did. Nestled above the cuddly The Artist and the not so cuddly The Grey, the French produced A Monster in Paris has taken a respectable £1,043,531 after casting it’s net far and wide with 433 sites (making it the second largest release of the week). It’s no half term haul but for such an unadvertised (and whisper it – foreign) affair it’s done awfully well for itself.

The Smash Hit – Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

“Bigger, better, funnier” shouted Empire on billboards across the land and whilst it may not have been the money has voted and come next week it will have surpassed its predecessor. Currently sitting pretty at number 6 with a total gross of £25,663,306 it’s within sniffing distance of 2009’s sub £26,000,000 total. Besting tough Christmas opposition in the face of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol it has beaten all festive comers and will probably be snooping around the chart come next week as well, hanging on as it did this weekend in an impressive 365 sites. With a worldwide haul pushing half a billion, as franchises go it’s cleaned up nicely.

Next Time:

Well it’s finally here, you’ve cried yourself into dehydration with War Horse, laughed yourself incontinent with Bridesmaids, sat in reverent silence watching The Artist, but the biggest film of the year is finally here. Brace yourselves next week for…Jack and Jill. Featuring the most incongruent casting since Ron Jeremy almost starred as Dr Manhattan, it’s Al Pacino playing a man in love with Adam Sandler dressed in some fake hair and boobs and stuff. One has to only take a look at Sandler’s face on the poster and it’s clear from his pained expression that he’s about to take a Norbit sized shit on your head if you’re stupid enough to go and see Pacino killing his career execution style. It might do well with the so bad it’s good market or it might bomb and explode into a million tiny little nuggets of bullocks to be liberally sprinkled about over the next 5 years of Sandler’s tortuous career. Anyone remember Punch Drunk Love anymore? Anyone?

In other less sensationalist news we’ve got the genuinely interesting spectacle of Chronicle looming on the horizon. Watch the trailer and get excited. It’s War Horse’s only real competition for the top spot in my view and I’m predicting good things.

Man on a Ledge might do ok and nothing much else will get a look in box-office-wise but who cares? This is the week in which we see Al Pacino take the bullet no one asked him to take. It’s going to be messy…

UK Top 10 Films:

  1. War Horse, , £2,081,490 from 510 sites. Total: £13,418,627
  2. The Descendants, £1,797,939 from 403 sites (New Entry)
  3. The Grey, £1,094,338 from 345 sites (New Entry)
  4. A Monster in Paris, £1,043,531 from 433 sites (New Entry)
  5. The Artist, £704,348 from 190 sites. Total: £4,470,081
  6. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, £655,144 from 365 sites, Total: £25,663,306
  7. Underworld: Awakening, £627,846 from 304 sites. Total: £2,382,349
  8. The Iron Lady, £567,397 from 397 sites. Total: £8,405,809
  9. The Sitter, £554,397 from 342 sites. Total: £1,967,227
  10. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, £529,462 from 298 sites. Total: £17,536,984.

Other New Releases

  • Agneepath, 52 sites, £307,814 (+ £38,646 previews)
  • Polish Roulette, 40 sites, £159,568
  • Like Crazy, 104 sites, £93,981
  • Intruders, 100 sites, £76,832
  • Berlin Kaplani, 3 sites, £15,159
  • House of Tolerance, 6 sites, £5,524
  • Patience (After Sebald), 2 sites, £3,933
  • Acts of Godfrey, 2 sites, £3,469
  • All’s Well That Ends Well, 2 sites, £1,224
  • Spanish Masala, 1 site, £653

Top Film This Time Last Year: Tangled

Source: DCM