I’m a huge fan of the horror genre, I adore Robert Englund’s performance as Freddy Krueger and have been looking forward to the remake of Wes Craven’s Nightmare on Elm Street since I watched all the original movies back to back for my Halloween Special.

The HeyUGuys coverage to the release of this remake has hinted at quite a reasonable movie too so has it delivered or has it fallen asleep, been murdered and outdone by the original version. read on to find out.

One, Two how did Freddy do?

When it comes to Horror icons and films, there is arguably none better than the brilliant Freddy Krueger and the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise. Anyone who saw the original Nightmare on Elm Street when they were young fondly remember it as a scary and well made horror film that still holds up today as it did in 1984. The remake however is probably one of the most disappointing films I’ve ever seen.

Platinum Dunes have been responsible for the awful remakes of the Texas Chainsaw massacre,  Amityville, The Hitcher, Friday 13th and no doubt the upcoming remake of The Birds and so it’s no real surprise Nightmare on Elm Street has gone the same way. What is more disappointing is the way that they didn’t add anything remotely new or interesting to the story except some terrible dated CGI thrown in to scare in some hugely predictable ways.

This would bleed a whole lot more?

Three, Four it’s starting to bore

The basic story is the same with a bunch of teenagers being killed off in their dreams by a burnt disfigured man with a fedora and a glove of blades and for some reason nothing new is added or event attempted with any form of creativity. The only new idea that is presented to us is the rushed backstory that Freddy was an accused child molester of our teenage victims when they attended nursery as children and we witness the chase and murder of Krueger by the parents during a dream of one of the kids.

It’s utter nonsense as it attempts to make us believe that Freddy was actually innocent of the crimes and the parents acted a bit aggressively without just cause which is why he is murdering their children (which is a pretty interesting idea) but then that explanation is taken away in the end when he is proven to be a molester so what was the point of it all? 

The parents should have had a bigger role to play and it should have been explained clearly that they were the reason for Freddy killing their kids and there guilt attached to it but we get no explanation apart from they killed Krueger and that’s all we need to know.

Five, Six crap CGI antics

The murders when they came were your typical CGI deaths with gore a plenty. There were throat cuts, Freddy’s glove through chests, claws through faces and a female body dragged round the bedroom in homage to the original film but almost all of them seemed to be included just to shock and awe you with its brutality. This isn’t a bad thing if that’s what you want to see but I look back at the original film and the deaths were done by Freddy so that nobody would believe the kids stories of Krueger being alive. Freddy framed Rod for Tina’s murder after splattering her body all over her room then Freddy hanged Rod in his cell using his sheets which all worked for the story, where as in this remake people are dying in front of other people on surveillance camera’s which removes a vital part of the evilness of Krueger’s killing.

The CGI was used terribly for other scenes and in particular the iconic scene where Freddy’s face and hands appear in Nancy’s wall that was incredibly effective in the original but was copied and ruined by CGI that looked so dated and so so bad (See below) it was almost embarrasing. There was also a quick nod to the famous Johnny Depp scene where Nancy runs onto a carpet that turns in to a rivers of blood and sinks which opens up through her bedroom ceiling pouring through but almost instantly disapearing in CGI madness. It seemed like they were going to copy the scene then bottled it as it looked so bad.

Seven, Eight the remakes not so great

Overall a complete waste of time but unfortunately the box office will no doubt prove to be a success as the franchise is so iconic it will raise plenty of interest especially from the character of Freddy Krueger who was played admirably by Jackie Earle Haley who brought a creepy and often dark humour to the role. His makeup I’m still undecided on, at times it looked really effective but at others it looked like plasticine and ineffective compared to the old 80’s makeup which looked bloody horrible in the originals.

The casting of Jackie Earle Haley is a good one, he had a huge pair of shoes to fill and never played it quite as comical as Robert Englund which was a good move. He did have some excellent mannerisms like rubbing his blades together between his thumb and fingers which was great and he had some decent lines, but when the F-Word is thrown in from him and the other characters in increasing volumes then it all started getting a bit depressing and needless.

The scares were all forced but effective as almost everyone seemed to jump when they arrived, but who doesn’t when it’s dead quiet and then all of a sudden with a loud bass enduced thump something runs past screen, of course i’m going to jump but I’m not scared I’m startled and movies need to understand that this doesnt make a scary film.

The other cast are completely forgettable and unlikeable, Nancy (Rooney Mara) was hardly even used for the first third of the film and I really thought there was going to be a nice play on the story changing the lead and giving us a nice surprise by killing Nancy off early on but it was just bad character development and writing and not a brainwave from the evil Michael Bay production company.

Nine, Ten Never see it again.

Director of many music videos, including Smells like Teen Spirit, Samuel Bayer was given an impossible task to direct his first ever feature length film when supported by such drivel as the story and script from Wesley Strict and Eric Heisserer and with Platinum Dunes behind it all I should have known better than to expect something at least good from Nightmare On Elm Street. A missed opportunity and a huge let down.