Jules (7-time WWE champion Trish Stratus) is a member of a three-person bounty hunter crew who chance upon an informant one night who is worth 0,000 if they hand him in, but ,000,000 if they hand him over to the mob boss who is after him. Feelings of moral conflict ensue, along with lots of terrible acting and unconvincing fight scenes.

*****

WWE (or WWF, or WE) has given us plenty of big screen stars over the years, though very few have attained any genuine success. First came Hulk Hogan (Rocky III, Mr Nanny), then “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (They Live) and Randy Savage (Spider-Man). Triple H has cropped up a few times (Blade: Trinity, The Chaperone) and even lesser known players like Kevin Nash have had their moment in the sun (The Punisher). Aside from The Rock, none of them have really shone, which makes the casting of Trish Stratus here the cause of no small amount of alarm. And rightly so. Undoubtedly she is a capable athlete and able to respond to physical direction, but as Dwayne Johnson has shown us, screen presence and charisma are a different kettle of fish entirely.

What we are left with here is an utterly feeble plot, held together with no-dimensional characters, performed by actors wildly out of their depth even with such limited material. A little nudity and swearing is thrown in to elevate this to a 15-certificate and whatever help that is perceived to give the film, but it is an utter, shambolic mess. The fight scenes, which should be the film’s strong point if not its saving grace, succeed in looking less spontaneous and realistic than a WWE bout. They are distractingly stilted, in a “you stand there, I’m going to do a back flip and grab the wall and spin around and stuff” kind of way.

It’s never much fun to be negative and of course I could do no better, whether as an actor, a director or a writer, but you cannot dress this up as anything other than what it is; inept. The film drifts from scene to scene with no sense of continuity, time and place or cohesion. None of the acting performances, whether by Stratus or the so-called professionals, are of any note. You can rent or buy this from 20th February, (it is also known as Bail Enforcers) but for the love of God, why would you? Even idle curiosity isn’t reason enough. Avoid.

[Rating:0.5/5]

Extras: Gag Reel, Trailer, Featurette.

[Rating:1/5]

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f28pd8hXC8Y’]