Dear Moviegoers,

After going to the movies not once, not twice, but three times last weekend, I felt it was time that we had a chat.  I had a few experiences last weekend that I thought I would bring to your attention so maybe we could come to some sort of understanding on what to do and what not to do at the movies.

First, let me explain what happened.  Last Saturday I went to the movies to see Sanctum.  This movie has been out for a while and I went to the first showing so naturally, the theater was not full at all.  My Aunt and I chose our seats so we wouldn’t be sitting directly in front, or behind the few others in the theater.  It’s the proper thing to do.  I set my bag in the empty seat next to me because I knew there was no way this theater was going to be full.  The lights dimmed and the commercials started.  This couple comes in and the guy decides he needs to sit RIGHT NEXT to me.  There were so many empty seats available I thought no way is this guy going to sit there.  Wrong.  As he’s lowering his mass of flesh into the seat, I had to scramble to get my bag out of the way before it met a most untimely, horrible fate.  I said “EXCUSE ME!” a bit loud, but he just sat down anyway.  My first thought was “DUDE! REALLY?!”.  I got up and moved to the other side of my Aunt where the rest of the row was empty and then the couple, actually got up and moved too!  My point here Moviegoer, is that if you go see a movie and the theater isn’t full, do what you can to not impede the seating of those around you.  You know that you would appreciate someone’s common courtesy right?  Let’s be respectful people.

My next experience had to do with snacks.  Mmmmmm snacks!  On Sunday I went with Aunt and Dad to see Unknown.  Now I love theater snacks as much as the next person.  And I’ve been known to bring in my own from time to time.  But again, it’s all about courtesy.  I come to expect a certain noise level during a movie because of popcorn, the popcorn bags, various wrapper etc.  But Pop Rocks are not something I expect.  Especially being eaten by the guy next to me.  With his mouth open.  All I could hear was the sound of Pop Rocks.  As I said, I used to cater in at the theater, but the stuff I brought was always quiet.  Key word…..quiet.  Moviegoer, if you must eat your beloved Pop Rocks, I just ask that you eat them with your mouth closed.

While I’m talking about snacks, I’d also like to ask that if you decide to provide your own snacks at the movies, bring something that does not have noisy packaging.  This is a simple thing.  Just put whatever the item is in zip lock back or something.  When I went to see I Am Number Four on Monday, the lady behind me had something that was packaged in super industrial strength cellophane.  It sounded like she was opening one of those huge gift baskets you win at a silent auction.  It took her just as long to open it too.  The opening of the film was met with the crinkle crinkle crinkle amplified to 80.  If changing out the package before you get to the theater isn’t an option, how about opening it before the lights go out?

That’s really all I have for now Moviegoer.  I really hope you and I can come to some sort of understanding.  I’ll be back at the theater this weekend and will hope that I’ve made a difference.  We really all want the same thing don’t we?  Let’s keep the noise level down and please for the love of God, choose your seats wisely.  Mmmm-kay pumpkin?



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