This week’s release schedule is dominated by two very different movie beasts.

One is horror movie ‘game-changer’, The Cabin in the Woods, the other is a mega-budget Sci-Fi movie about the navy fighting off an alien invasion called Transformers of the Sea. Sorry, my mistake, it’s called Battleship, named after the popular board game…….Battleship.

The existence in both of big fighting ships is basically where the connection ends though as, let’s face it, board games don’t really lend themselves directly to great movie concepts, with the possible exception of the oft overlooked Pop-Up Pirate and the Hungry Hungry Hippos of Death of course. I had a great gag lined up here by the way where I’d type out B7, D4, C5,C6, C7 and say, whoops, SPOILER ALERT, but some bastard on twitter already got there before me. Anyway, you can still enjoy that high quality piece of comedy nonetheless.

There are several intriguing looking alternatives out this week as well, so hopefully we will find something for even the most discerning of tastes.

Last week’s big boat at sea related movie, Titanic, proved a huge draw at the Box Office and both Headhunters and Mirror Mirror received favourable reviews. All three are still out there for your enjoyment should you still need to see them, as are big draws such as The Hunger Games and The Pirates : In an Adventure With Scientists.

If you want to check to see if any of these films are playing near you, you can visit Find Any Film and they’ll be able to help

 

The Cabin in the Woods *Pick Of The Week*

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ENUBUdFswM&ob=av3n’]

There has been uproar, uproar I tells thee, on the twitiverse this week as critics and bloggers raised the issue of major plot spoilers for this film appearing in several reviews. I have yet to see the film but I will still be extra vigilant not to reveal anything about the Dinosaur attack that happens at the end  (I jest of course though, thinking about it,  for all I know, that DOES actually happen. Ah well, I’ll risk it). Cabin has been touted by many as a game-changer in terms of horror movies, poking fun and toying with the genre in much the same way as Scream and Wes Craven’s New Nightmare did. We are talking meta here people.

Plot-wise, what I can safely say is this, a group of college kids go to a remote woodland cabin and all is most definitely not what it seems. Thus endeth the vaguest plot description of all time. By all accounts it’s best viewed with no prior knowledge though so you’ll be thanking me later.

Dave Sztypuljak says:

The Cabin in the Woods looks fab and everything I’ve heard about it sounds amazing. The trailer has me completely intrigued and I’ve no idea which direction it’s going to go in. This is the one im looking forward to seeing most this week at the cinema.

Tracy Ladd says:

I’m so excited for Cabin in the Woods. At first I thought this was going to be yet another slasher film with a group of sex-crazed twenty somethings, but then I saw the trailer.  Since then I’ve been on a complete blackout because I want to let this film unfold for me in the theater and not online.

Jon Lyus says:

One of the films of the year. Smart, surprising and leaves you wondering why more filmmakers don’t break the rules more often. Read no reviews, trust the word of mouth – this is a fantastic horror film.

You can read Jon Lyus’ spoiler-free review here.

 

Battleship

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDMXkPfxjOc’]

This $200 million blockbuster looks set to be one of the biggest, in budgetary terms at least, movies of the summer. It may not have the fanboy lure of Avengers Assemble or the dark coolness of The Dark Knight Rises, but by jove if it doesn’t have a whole host of massive explosions.

The plot is simple, a naval fleet is surrounded by a mysterious alien regime who are seeking to establish a power source in the middle of the ocean, and battle between ships does ensue. It’s either going to be an OTT garish affair in the vein of the recent Transformers movies, or simply a piece of brainless action fun. Early reviews appear split between the two so I’ll leave it up to you to decide.

Jon Lyus says:

I’d sooner eat a Battleship than watch that again. Go and see A Night to Remember instead…

Dave Sztypuljak says:

Battleship may not be the best film in the world (Jon would disagree judging by his review!), but it’s a pretty fun popcorn movie that you’ll come out of wishing you were in charge of a Battleship with Rihanna as one of your crew

You can read Jon Lyus’ review here.

 

Blackthorn

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FMZDtpMFqk’]

A little something for any fans of Westerns courtesy of Mateo Gil, the Spanish co-writer of Vanilla Sky. It tells the story of an aging Butch Cassidy who has been living under the pseudonym of James Blackthorn in a remote part of Bolivia for the past 20 years and longs for one last glimpse of home. It won several awards at Spain’s Goya’s (their version of the Oscars) although it has met with mixed reviews thus far.

Mozart’s Sister

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eRauNLpia0&feature=fvst’]

A French drama from Rene Feret which tells the story of Marie Anna Mozart, Wolfgang’s sister and the only one of his siblings to survive infancy. It depicts the Mozart family’s exhaustive life on the road moving from royal court to royal court. Despite Maria Anna’s own talent, her life is spent in her brother’s shadow and she feels constrained on account of her gender.

Delicacy

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hje_0O0sFwA&feature=related’]

Audrey Tautou stars in this week’s other French Drama of which, frankly, details are a little thin on the ground. From what I can garner on the web though, Tautou is in typcal rom-com-lite mode as a young widow who mourns her lost husband and throws herself into her work whilst retreating from her social life. One day she kisses a co-worker and begins to slowly fall in love again. A potential double-bill with Battleship perhaps?

11-11-11

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZsYJ-MWeYg’]

Directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, helmer of Saw 2, 3 and 4, 11-11-11 is a supernatural horror in which an entity from another world enters Earth via Heaven’s 11th Gate. For those who haven’t yet put two and two together by the way, the title refers to the time and date 11:11 on the 11th of November.  It revolves around a best-selling author called Joseph Crone who after losing his Wife and child in a tragic house fire travels to Barcelona to seek out his estranged brother and dying father. Whilst there, Joseph miraculously survives a seemingly fatal car crash which occurs at 11:11 precisely. He comes to learn that this particular number was important in his past lives and is set to plague his day-to-day existence.

A Night to Remember

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wTKmimCrmc&feature=player_embedded’]

Marking a hundred years since the Titanic’s fateful voyage and coming tn the wake of James Cameron’s 3D megabucks re-release of last week, comes a timely release for this 1958 movie chronicling the tragic events on board the doomed ship.  Not quite as flashy as the Cameron version of events, but generally considered to be a far more historically accurate and even-handed depiction of the tragedy.

According to the official site:

In 1912, the ‘unsinkable’ Titanic sails from Southampton with 2207 passengers on board. They excitedly dine and dance and the sea is incredibly calm. Then a look-out spots an iceberg looming up directly ahead. The boat steers away, but the submerged part of the berg rips a 300-foot gash under the waterline. The crew realise the vessel will sink in less than three hours. As those on board realise their fate, calm gives way to panic. There is a rush to the lifeboats, but there are not enough for all the passengers…