Recent releases by The Asylum have left me debating their oddly fascinating approach, praising when they very occasionally get things right and finding myself more than a little annoyed with their gimmicks. So when four Asylum flicks landed on my doorstep for review I approached with caution but also with as much of an open mind as I could manage, as I try to with any new release.

That said the hit to miss ratio with The Asylum swings rather strongly to the miss side so in an effort to rip the plaster off quickly, if this turned out to indeed be necessary, I settled down to watch all four films in a row. A mistake you might think but contained within were some pleasures, but unfortunately a whole lot of messy half-arsed filmmaking too. Like a moth to a flame…

First up was Ballistica, a film that doesn’t appear to be a direct rip-off of a popular film but more an attempt at entering the action genre with a film that showcases the ‘talents’ of lead actor and Asylum regular Paul Logan and incorporates a kind of Gun-fu (here called Ballistica), clearly with the hope of re-using this idea for future sequels.

Director Gary Jones cut his teeth working in the special effects department on various Sam Raimi productions and at one point even worked on Hard Target with gunplay master John Woo. If only some of the dynamic excess and technical skill present in those filmmaker’s work was on show here. From what I’ve heard about The Asylum’s working methods though, he may well have tried but been far too restricted by short edit times, shifting responsibilities and changing deadlines.

For the most part Ballistica limps along from action set piece to action set piece, occasionally stopping to update on a plot surrounding Russian spies and a ‘great whatsit’ that apparently represents a very serious threat. The lousy plot would be somewhat forgiveable if the action delivered but it’s mostly pretty dull and suffers from disjointed editing that often makes no sense whatsoever.

Most memorable line: “Put the candle in the window folks, this is where it gets dicey.”

Next was a film that reuses the formula employed for the release of The Asylum’s 8213: Gacy House, namely pretending it’s a real documentary. This time it all began with a blog post at The Asylum website which claimed that The Asylum had got their hands on tapes that documented the so-called exorcism of Anneliese Michel, a girl who reportedly died of starvation and dehydration, suffering due to religious indoctrination and a number of lengthy ‘exorcism’ sessions.

This sad and tragic real life event has been adapted before now with greater and lesser degrees of ethical consideration given but this release, Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes, falls into the side of cheap exploitation and the attempts to present it as real footage leave one with a slightly nasty taste in one’s mouth. Not for long though as the sheer goofiness of Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes means it’s hard to take any offence or indeed take it too seriously.

The film uses a mixture of exorcism sequences and fake documentary footage in order to fill the 85 minute runtime and fake beards, silly hats and dodgy accents coupled with constant repetition make this a bit of a slog to get through. There are a couple of moments where the filmmakers pay lip service to the idea that those responsible for the deaths of exorcist victims are religious extremists but this is only briefly touched on and a long way from being an interesting subtext in the film.

Most memorable line: Probably the proud declaration on the box that the film is “…compiled from actual videotape and film recordings from over 76 exorcisms”. It’s obviously not.

Clearly inspired by the Fast and the Furious films The Asylum released Street Racer in 2008 with the tagline “At 130 mph you’re never more alive or closer to dead!”. They’ve returned to the world of street racing with this new release 200 MPH, therefore apparently focusing on races around 70 mph faster than the first film. While maybe not actually featuring any faster races 200 MPH does feature minor improvements over the previous Asylum effort. Still very silly and occasionally a tad offensive, it is at least reasonably watchable.

200 MPH is a relatively by the numbers approach to this curiously popular sub-genre of street racing films featuring luridly painted cars, muscular men and scantily clad women. Whilst massively restrained by the budget the makers of 200 MPH seem to have ludicrously high aspirations with lengthy race scenes and a relatively complex plot focusing on street racing gangs, vengeance, strippers and a dirty cop (Paul Logan making another appearance). While the plot is very messy and the CGI augmented car chases weak, the film is not a complete disaster as 200 MPH is well paced and manages to be somewhat engaging for the most part, even if only at a very low level. Nonsense from beginning to end 200 MPH is certainly not a good film but when compared to similar ilk such as Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift it doesn’t seem quite so bad and fans of automotive fetishization will probably find something to like in here.

Most memorable line: Too close to call between the wonderfully succinct “You have a race to race.” and the tone setting “Deal with it bro, my mum’s a stripper.”

Note: Don’t attempt a drinking game based on the characters in 200 MPH saying bro as you will die of alcohol poisoning long before the credits roll.

Last and by no means least is Almight Thor, a wonderfully cheeky cash in on Marvel’s superhero blockbuster, trading on the fact that mythical norse gods have not been subject to trademarking. By far the most effects heavy film amongst this selection Almighty Thor fails in part due to this but also because of  its stupefyingly serious tone.

Luckily though the film is frequently saved by a thoroughly entertaining turn from ‘that-guy’ Richard Grieco. The film has a plot that mirrors the idea of Marvel’s film version of Thor, magical Thor guy is transported to Earth and is pursued by the evil Loki, but steers clear of any of the specifics (the production of the two films was relatively concurrent). The plot is mostly rather dull, the action occasionally entertaining but marred by lots of slow motion and some sloppy editing (poor coverage perhaps?) and it features a leadenly serious tone in spite of all the silliness. It is a surprisingly easy going and slightly entertaining 90 minutes though. The entertainment mostly does come from Grieco though, who is clearly relishing the chance to ham it up as the villainous Loki and the film noticeably drags every time he’s not on screen.

Most memorable line: “Feel the power of the hammer” (spat out by Grieco in a scene in which he appears to be channelling Emperor Palpatine)

Ballistica, Anneliese: The Exorcist Tapes, 200 MPH & Almighty Thor are all available on DVD now.