The iTunes 99p rental – so good they do it every week. It’s easy, you go into the films section of iTunes, locate the movie picture that states ‘this weeks 99p rental’, point and click. It only takes 30 minutes to download on my computer, and my broadband is super-slow speed. It’s not surprising the concept is number 16 in the ‘Future 100’ in this months Total Film.
It’s been a couple of bad weeks, with Surfer, Dude and Starter For 10 on offer. So it’s with a sense of trepidation i say… Let’s take a look at Megan Fox and Lindsay Lohan in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.
I must start by saying that i am not, and never have been, a teenage girl. There is no situation in which this movie is aimed at me, but i’ll try and provide balance as far as possible.
Lola Cep (Lindsay Lohan) is a girl from New York, dragged kicking and screaming by her mother to live in a little town in New Jersey. Lola has aspirations of being a star, and has a penchant for being over dramatic. On her first day at her new school she instantly bonds with geeky Ella, over their mutual love for rock band Sidarthur, much to the consternation of resident mean girl Carla (Megan Fox).
A rivalry instantly forms as Carla senses a rival for her spot as coolest girl in school. This animosity is fully brought to surface by the imminent auditions for the school play. Both girls are desperate to win the lead role, an updated Eliza Doolittle, in a contemporary musical set in modern day New York.
Tragedy strikes, however, when the news comes through that Sidarthur have broken up! This is Lola’s last chance to see her idol Stu Wolf sing live at the farewell concert. Thoughts of the play are cast aside as Lola has to 
somehow get tickets, and convince best friend Ella to lie to her parents so they can get to the concert in New York. All this whilst Carla gloats that not only has she got tickets to the concert, but thanks to her father’s connections she will also be at the after show party at Sidarthur’s apartment. Will Lola pull it off, and fulfil her dream?
Made before high school musical, Teenage Drama Queen could have got a jump on Zac and friends if it had got this right. The resolution to the jeopardy of who will get cast in the lead role is badly telegraphed as soon as Lola starts singing in her audition. The whole play thread is then put on the back burner in favour of the very silly trip to the concert. Hilarity doesn’t ensue, it’s all a bit predictable, and it all gets a bit messy.
As Lola browbeats her friend into the ill-advised jaunt, and coupled with the revelation that Lola lied about her Dad dying, and even her real name (which is actually Mary), it’s difficult to see exactly why you should be pulling for her.
It’s only when we, finally, get back to the musical that things pick up a bit. When you’ve got someone with the talents of Lindsay Lohan, you should make use of them for the whole movie. Say what you want about her now, here she can sing, dance, and yes even act well. It’s a shame Lohan is taking 
the film’s lead nowadays and wasting her talents. That’s the most interesting story here. Lohan gets the better of Fox, whilst in the real world the roles have now been reversed. Fox is the more successful actress based on two Transformers movies alone, and with some big movies coming up next year she is one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood. Lohan is now a shadow of her former self. She reached a career low with I Know Who Killed Me, and it’s unlikely her part in next spring’s Machete is going to set the world alight.
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen missed the opportunity to be a trailblazer. There’s nothing here that wasn’t subsequently done better in High School Musical and Mean Girls. The Eliza Doolittle play, and the rivalry between Lola and Carla are the highlights, but are overshadowed by the poorly conceived quest to meet Sidarthur.Oh, and i won’t even go into the embarrassment factor of a 30-something male watching Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, on an Ipod Touch, on a packed train in the morning.
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is available on iTunes for rental at the discounted price until Midnight Monday 19th October. It is also available on DVD now. But buy the far superior Mean Girls instead.
