As my title suggests, I am a female. Gal, lady, woman, chick, girl.  In some ways I could even be considered a girlie girl.  I like to shop.  I love shoes.  Heels specifically.  I tend to get cranky if I have a bad hair day and I never go to work without putting on my make up.  Any time I’m not at work is a completely different story.  But I digress….

I am a girl in most respects.  I’ve been told that the one area I’m not like most other females, is in my choice of movies.  I don’t care much for the “chick flick”.  Romantic comedies can be fun, but if given the choice, I’d go with action or science fiction instead.  If I had to pick between watching Pretty Woman or Aliens for all eternity, I’d pick Aliens without thinking twice.

I guess you could say I’m more of a “nuke the planet from orbit” kind of gal versus the “I want the fairy tale.” kind of gal.  I have no issue with this and most of my male friends are thankful.  Instead of going on and on about the new Sex and the City movie, I’m prattling on about how great this action scene was or how I can’t wait for that science fiction movie.

I trace it all back to my childhood.  Instead of watching whatever chick flicks girls my age were watching back then, I was glued to the likes of Commando, American Ninja (and it’s sequels), Gymkata, First Blood parts 1 and 2, Die Hard, Bloodsport, Missing in Action, Hard to Kill, Above the Law, Lethal Weapon, Red Dawn, The Delta Force, you get the picture.  Basically anything with Stallone, Norris, Seagal, Van Damme, Schwarzenegger, Willis and all of those other fellas in those wonderfully awful 80’s (and later, the 90’s) action movies.

Growing up on those types of movies naturally set the foundation and paved the way for my viewing habits as an adult.  Obviously my standards are a bit higher and I want quality to go with my visuals, but I really don’t see anything wrong with the occasional empty movie.  You don’t eat ice cream for nutrition.  You eat it because it’s full of yummy goodness and empty calories.  So why can’t the same be said for movies?

I love all different kinds of movies.  I think movies can be important and make a statement and I don’t mind the occasional heavy soul crushing movies but I can only take those in small doses and the same goes for Vietnam era films.  But I’ll still watch and like, maybe even love them.  But there are times where I want, no…I NEED some mindless entertainment and I long for those 80’s and 90’s action movies.

I want to be taken back to a time where I would lay on my belly on the floor, feet in the air, propped up on my elbows with my eyes wide with wonder as I watched Arnie fire off that missile launcher, or watched Stallone shank that guy with his jagged blade hunting knife.  So naturally, when I first started hearing news about Stallone’s new film The Expendables, I was excited.  In all honesty, he had me with the cast and synopsis.  I really didn’t need to see anything else.  It was decided right then, this would be a can’t-miss movie for me.  When you look at the line up it’s a bit surprising this movie got made.  Some big names, some not so big, but all awesome in their own right.

This isn’t going to be a review.  Our writer Gary has already taken care of that and you can read it here.  After poking around online I’ve noticed that the majority of reviews written about The Expendables are by male writers.  There are several done by females as well, but the ratio doesn’t seem to be equal.  The comments posted on the reviews by the women writers were both positive and negative.  From things like it being a stupid review to how women shouldn’t review actions movies.  I’m here to tell you that’s a bunch of malarkey.  Some of the female reviewers didn’t like the movie, some did.  The reviews by the males were the same.  Some liked it, some didn’t.  So what’s the difference between a man or a woman liking or disliking it ?

Was I looking for a deep meaningful story, excellent acting and fluid film making? No.  I was looking for big explosions, ridiculous fights, weapons that nobody should ever own or have access to that I wished I had and extreme explosions.  Care to know a secret? I loved it.  Care to know another secret? I giggled like a gossiping school girl the entire time.  I was able to look past the transparent story and stilted dialogue because this movie delivered exactly what it promised.  A bunch of action stars fighting, shooting, stabbing and blowing stuff up.  What else could you really ask for?

Don’t mistake my enthusiasm for blinders.  I’m fully aware that the movie had it’s flaws.  There are things I wish they had  done differently.  There weren’t nearly enough Jet Li fight scenes.  I was also really hoping for some tribute, maybe in a dialogue throwback to the actor’s earlier films.  I wished that the action and fight scenes weren’t done with a series of quick takes.  I wish there had been more Dolph.  Those are but a few examples.  Even though it had it’s faults, I still loved it.  I found myself sitting there with a stupid grin on my face the whole time.  I didn’t look at my watch once. I was instantly transported back to my youth the second it started.  Seeing Jet go up again Dolph, Statham go up against several guys at one time, Randy Couture and Steve Austin squaring off against each other….what’s not to love?!

Now is the time that Geek girls are coming out in abundance. You can find us anywhere.  Yes, I do consider myself a geek girl.  I love  all things science fiction, Star Wars AND Star Trek, comic book movies (even though I’m not much into comics, I was a faithful reader of The Punisher for a time) Battlestar Galactica and all those other fun geek things.  I do realize there is more to being a Geek girl that just those things but for the sake of not turning this into the next great American novel, I’m keeping the list short.  I also consider myself an Action girl.  There is a contingent of us out there who will take The Expendables over Eat, Pray, Love any day of the week and twice on Sunday.  Yes fellas, we are out there.  We aren’t a myth.

After I saw Inception I had a discussion with someone who didn’t like it because they “don’t want to have to think too much” when watching a movie.  You won’t be burning any brain cells during The Expendables but if you know that going in, and expect it, you’ll have a great time.  I loved it for it’s ridiculous action.  I loved it for all the reasons I loved watching all of those other 80’s  and 90’s movies.  Most of all….I LOVED Terry Crews’ gun! And no, that’s not a metaphor.

My point here is that girls need action love too.  You can love mindless action movies AND have a uterus.  Having the double X chromosome doesn’t mean we are bound to the romantic comedies and girlie movies.  Needless to say I’ll be bypassing the lines for Going the Distance this weekend and heading straight for Machete.  But right now, I have a date with Blind Fury and Showdown in Little Tokyo.