To this end HeyUGuys presents for your edification our movie awards – The Truffles. We asked our writers to sift through the movie mayhem of the past twelve months and come up with the awards they would want to see handed out.
We posted Part 1 of The Truffles last Friday and today we are pleased to present Part 2 of the HeyUGuys movie awards – The Truffles.
The most degrading film of 2010: The Tooth Fairy
Please tell me what The Rock was smoking when he decided to say yes to this film. The Rock becoming the Tooth Fairy is almost as bad as Vin Diesel becoming the Pacifier. Not much more to say than way to degrade your image.
The trippiest movie of 2010: Valhalla Rising
I’ve never sat through a movie where, from start to finish, I was sat with a blank stare for the entire time, wondering what the hell I was witnessing. Not only did I not see a point to Valhalla Rising, but everything about it was misleading and may induce head trauma because you need to make sure you’re not dreaming this ridiculous movie up. Think of it along the lines of Natural Born Killers and then you’ll understand what I mean.
The “Funnest” two hours of 2010: Kick-Ass / Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
For this I have to choose a rated R film and a non-rated R film. My choice for R is Kick-Ass, if you’ve seen it then I don’t need to explain how much of a blast it was watching this film. From Hit Girl’s unreal finale to Kick-Ass getting hit by a car after a battle with a thug, nothing could beat this film when it comes to pure entertainment.
As for the PG-13 film, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is the winner. It may be another comic book adaptation but Edgar Wright’s film is so fast paced and so brilliant that even people that hate comic books and Michael Cera truly enjoyed this one. This was one of the two movies where true comic book geeks could reunite with the average individual for a dazzling onscreen spectacle.
Waste of Space Award: Megan Fox in Jonah Hex.
Her acting was terrible and her accent was worse. The movie stunk probably as much as you would think people living in that era did. I almost injured myself due to the perpetual eye rolling that ensued every time she was on screen.
Best Use of a Subtle Head Nod / Throwback: The opening scene of Piranha 3D.
The scene in question shows Richard Dreyfuss in his little boat fishing and listening to his radio. The song on the radio is the same one he, Roy Scheider and Robert Shaw sang in the galley of the Orca in Jaws. He’s also dressed just like his character from Jaws. Brilliant.
Biggest Disgrace to Source Material: Clash of the Titans.
Hands down. I was mad when I first heard that they were going to remake this fine piece of cinema. Then I saw the trailers and thought, “ok, maybe it won’t suck.” I was proven wrong on such a grand scale. All of the charm the original had was lost and turned into a cinematic jumbled mess. However I did like Zeus’ armor. But that was about it.
Best Bad Guy Ever: Mark Strong.
He’s proven his evil chops in Sherlock Holmes (yes I know that was last year), Robin Hood and Kick Ass. If he could play the villain in every single movie I would be happy. I love to hate him. He peppers his evil with panache and that is a true gift.
The Oh-No-They-Aren’t-Going-There-Are-They Award: That scene from Splice.
Even though I ended up being entertained by Splice, I found myself sitting in my seat saying, “Oh God, please don’t go there.” But they did. The scene with Adrien Brody and Dren. Just….not ok. This movie achieved what most can’t. I was truly icked out. Well played Splice, well played indeed.
The Unexepected Gem Award: Get Him to the Greek.
While I expected the typical humor from Jonah Hill and Russell Brand, I was pleasantly surprised that the film not only had comedy, but it also had heart. I was also surprised at Sean Combs. I didn’t think P. Diddy had it in him, but the man killed it.
Best Use of a Film Title in Dialogue: No doubt, this goes to Hot Tub Time Machine.
A lot of films work the title in somehow someway, but when Craig Robinson said it nothing else can compare. It instantly became a classic.
Biggest Impression Award: Inception.
Easily the film that left the biggest impression on me this year. The story, the layers, the characters, the visuals, and that ending. Christopher Nolan had proven once again that you don’t need to dumb down an idea for the movie going masses. It was smart, intricate and also has one of the best scores out there.
Best adaptation of studio logo – Scott Pilgrim vs The World
Okay, the pixellated Disney logo for Tron: Legacy keeps getting mentioned, but the retro computer graphics and ZX Spectrum-style Universal anthem made everyone smile, much like the whole of the rest of the film. An utter delight from start to finish.
The Malcolm Tucker award for best use of profanity – Hit Girl, Kick-Ass
Who else? Whether she’s telling Big Daddy that she’s just messing with him, or seeing what Rasul’s crew can do, no-one swore better this year. Watching it get he Daily Mail’s knickers in a twist was just one of the many pleasures of this hilarious reworking of comic book staples. Jet packs, timber microwaves, Adam West impersonations, stroboscopic shoot-outs, easily one of the best films of the year.
The Jules Winfield Effortless Cool Award – Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Inception
JGL seemed so completely at ease with moving through dream-scapes, walking around rotating corridors and fighting in zero-gravity. In a film packed with genuinely top-drawer acting performances, he came very close to running away with the show. Now rumoured for Batman 3, JGL has come a long way since 3rd Rock from the Sun, but the easy charisma has always been there to see.
The Old Painless award for most effective firearm – The Expendables
Every action film needs a gun that puts a smile on the face of grown men. Old Painless from Predator, the mini-gun in T2, the tripod-mounted gun from Commando, the rail gun in Eraser (hmm, bit of an Arnie theme here). Add to this list the gun that Terry Crewes unleashes towards the end of The Expendables, dismembering and disemboweling with deft aplomb. My mate and I laughed out loud and the sheer carnage this firearm unleashed – an instant classic (the gun, not the film).
Most frustrating waste of talent – The Expendables
it should have been the mother of all action films, yet felt thoroughly run of the mill. Sly seemed determined to over-edit every fight scene, despite the almost peerless fighting skills of the cast he so carefully assembled. When you have Dolph Lundgren and Jet Li duking it out, you want to see what is happening.
The Hot Shots! Part Deux award for surprising six pack – Adrian Brody, Predators
Not the turkey that many have said, but still a wasted opportunity. This was a lot of fun but could have been more. Nonetheless, when Brody showed just how much time he had put in at the gym, it was hard not to be impressed. Good pecs man, respect.
Best Film – Inception
My tastes and viewing habits tend to be pretty mainstream and I certainly cannot claim to have seen an awful lot at the cinema this year, but of what I’ve seen, Inception wins. Aside from a minor debt to Existenz’s “layers of reality” concept, a highly original piece of work, with a veritable feast of acting performances from which to choose your favourite. As always, Nolan shows total mastery of the technical requirements of film-making and builds characters and a world that are completely believable. An enigmatic ending that leaves room for almost endless debate, coupled with another barn-storming DiCaprio performance puts this up there with Nolan’s very best (Memento, The Dark Knight, The Prestige). It’s $800m+ box office suggests that many, like me, went back for more. No doubt it will continue to live and breath and spark debate now that it is out on DVD and Bluray.
Despite them being very different films, this just about nudges Up In The Air into second pace on my list of the year.
Worst Flaws Revealed Though a Digitally Remastered Version of a Much-loved Classic: Back to the Future
Although one of my cinematic highlights of the year, the now incredibly dated-looking make-up effects (particularly Christopher Lloyd’s weird neck prosthetic, which looks like dried PVA adhesive) was a little distracting. Fortunately, this was a minor blip in a film which still managed to be as thoroughly entertaining and delightful as you first time I watched it on the big screen all those 25 years ago.
Worst Screen Parents of the Year: Dog Tooth
Keeping your kids (now twentysomething adults) locked away from civilisation and creating your own twisted world and logic for them to follow (in which, amongst other things, they think cats are a deadly threat and sibling incest has been imposed), will not win you parenting awards in any annual Hello!-type poll, but may earn you a distinction from the Hans Fritzl school of child rearing.
Worst Platinum Dunes Horror Remake of the Year: A Nightmare on Elm St
Not even the formidable Jackie Earle Haley could salvage this pointless, unscary, underwhelming and worst of all, completely unnecessary remake of a beloved classic. Almost (but not quite) The Phantom Menace of horror films.
The Harry Dean Stanton Award for Best Supporting Actor: John Hawkes in Winter’s Bone
In a film which showcases an incredibly assured lead performance from 20 year-old Jennifer Lawrence, it’s the role of her character’s drug-addled uncle, Teardrop, which finally finds long-time supporting actor Hawkes at his career-best role.
Almost unrecognisable here with his greying beard and gaunt (more so than usual), lived-in tattooed face, every time he appears on screen (particularly with Lawrence) there’s a palpable feeling of tension and fear. Even though he is of small statute, he commands the screen whenever he appears on it, looking every bit the scruffy, edgy backwater criminal he’s portraying.
I’m placing my bets on Hawkes for a Best Supporting Actor nod, come Oscar time.
Reminder That a Quality Actor Exists Somewhere in There Award: Ben Stiller in Greenberg.
Stiller’s subtle, nuanced (and not necessary likeable) turn as misanthropic loser Greenberg helped to remind us that there is more to his talented actor than being a daft Focker and arsing about in museums which come alive.
Most Excruciating Scene of the Year: The hidden razor blade in A Prophet.
Watching poor prisoner Malik (a blistering performance by Tahar Rahim), nervously and haphazardly, hide a razor blade in his mouth in preparation for an assassination which he has been forced to do, made for incredibly difficult, yet riveting viewing.
Worst film of the year: Salt
Awful, ridiculous, logic-defying action flick which makes the content in a Michael Bay production appear restrained by comparison. Plus, Jolie looks like she would have difficulty opening a door, never mind participating in all the film’s action set pieces.
Best (or worst) use of a Model Landscape of the Year: Jackass 3D
It really depends on your disposition how hilarious/gross you thought this stunt was. I thought it was a mixture of both, but it really does have to be seen to be believed.
The “WALT WHO?” Award For Best Non Disney/Pixar Animated Feature Of 2010: The Secret of Kells
Not only a truly enchanting film but one that formed the basis of my very first review for HeyUGuys. Stylish, magical, unique and reminiscent of an Irish-tinged Ghibli you can read my review of the film here …
The “WHO NEEDS APATOW?” Award For Best Comedy Feature Of 2010: Four Lions
Whilst the comedy hype machine seemed more interested in overseas affairs this year churning out plenty of hyperbole for such uninspiring dross as “Date Night”, “Due Date”, “MacGruber”, “Dinner For Schmucks”, “Grown Ups” and the truly execrable “Vampires Suck” Chris Morris had surreptitiously snuck on in, planted his explosives and duly blown the competition away with the truly hilarious “Four Lions”. Every bit as controversial as Morris fans are used to “Four Lions” ultimately surprised more with the amount of heart and soul that beat beneath the Jihadist exterior.
By injecting his terrorists with so much humanity despite their ethical and political stances the audience suddenly found them sympathising with a group of madman and come the explosive finale a definite sense of tragedy underpinned the comedy. Proving that comedy needn’t always head down the scatalogically slapstick path Morris once again proved to be an incendiary blast of fresh air in the field of comedy, a hugely intelligent individual and a highly important part of the the UK film industry. Seriously, don’t let this one pass you by …
The “EXCELSIOR!” Award For Best Comic Book Geek Moment Of 2010: The THOR Comic-Con Footage
Thundering onto computer screens earlier this year before promptly being taken down by the lovely folks at Marvel the five minute preview of next year’s “Thor” has me in geeky fits of gleeful anticipation. Having glimpsed the mighty Mjolnir in the “Iron Man 2” post-credits teaser this was the first time we got a real glimpse at Kenneth Branagh’s movie. After a moody opener in which Clark Gregg, reprising his role as S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Phil Coulson, interrogates a mysterious figure we’re awarded our first real look at Chris Hemsworth in the lead role before being flung across dimensions to the realm of Asgard via Anthony Hopkins’ Jor-El-esque tones and catching glimpses of Odin, Loki, Sif, and a veritable pantheon of Norse Gods.
Whether Branagh can successfully balance the real world with the mythical whilst maintaining the mythos already established by Favreu’s “Iron Man” films is, as yet, uncertain. But having seen the footage multiple times I’m now eagerly anticipating May 6, 2011…
The “HEY, IT’S BILL MURRAY!” Award For Best Cameo Of 2010: Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Expendables
The film already read like a who’s who of iconic action movie maestros so who better to draft in then The Governator himself Mr Arnold Schwarzenegger. Providing fans with a truly historic cinematic teamup the scene featuring Planet Hollywood buddies Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis obviously generated a great deal of pre-release hype. So it was to be a pleasant surprise when the scene itself turned out to be so memorable; as much a celebration of this trio of legendary action stars as a tongue in cheek addition to proceedings.
And whilst Stallone and Willis were hugely watchable it was Ahhnuld who came out tops, his entrance bathed in the kind of light usually put aside for minor deities and Stallone’s eventual punchline, “He want’s to be President!” easily sitting amongst my favourite movie moments of the year. So it was, perhaps, a shame that the publicity for the film focused so much on this onscreen reunion as just pause awhile and consider how awesome the scene would have been had we not known a thing about it beforehand …
The “I’M A VAMPIRE!” Award For Most Hilariously OTT Nic Cage Performance Of 2010: Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans
Named in honour of Cage’s ridiculously unsubtle performance in “Vampires Kiss” (1988) this award is a slight curio insofar as it doesn’t necessitate a great film to fuel it. So imagine my surprise, then, when not one but TWO fantastic Nic Cage films appeared on our screens this year. The first, Matthew Vaughn’s “Kick Ass”, featured a wonderfully deadpan performance by Cage which was harnessed by a hilariously camp vocal imitation of Adam West. But whilst I’d happily hand over the award to Big Daddy it was ultimately Terence McDonagh who snuck in and stole the elusive trophy.
In Werner Herzog’s awesome “Bad Lieutenant” Cage delivered what was, arguably, his greatest role in years though in retrospect the character of McDonagh could have been more suited to Cage’s eccentric mannerisms and you’d be hard pushed to imagine anyone else in the role. To pick a favourite moment would be a tricky prospect though the scene in which Cage threatens an old lady with a gun would almost certainly feature highly. “Shoot him again … his soul is still dancing!”
The “DAMN YOU, LUCAS!” Award For Most Unnecessary Re-Release Of 2010: Avatar – Extended Edition
Not an awful lot to say on this one that hasn’t been (colourfully) said before. Simply put I hated “Avatar” the first time I saw Cameron’s overlong, overhyped, overproduced blue-hued snorefest so the thought of another 16 minutes of footage does little to abate my intense hatred for the film. Never say Na’vi again
The “WHO IS THIS GUY?” Award For Most Promising New Talent Of 2010: Nick Turk – HeyUGuys
Granted it’s a wholly gratuitous and entirely unsubtle plug but being given the opportunity to write for HeyUGuys has, at least for me, been one of the greatest opportunities to come from 2010. Having collectively loved the site, loved movies and loved writing for many, many years to be able to combine all three is every bit as exciting a prospect as the next Batman film FINALLY receiving a proper title. So let me say a quick thank you to everyone for allowing me this opportunity, look forward to plenty more posts in 2011 and quickly run off stage before I make a tit of myself like Gwyneth Paltrow once did! Here’s to a new decade, folks!
The “You’re hiring Adam Sandler AGAIN” award for the The Worst Possible News of 2010: Buffy Reboot Still In The Works
I mean, really? Invoking the wrath of Whedonites around the globe, the news that Whit Anderson had successfully pitched a new take on the hallowed vampire slayer was met with a nigh universal sigh of frustration. With collective disappointment ringing out from Joss Whedon and star Nicolas Brendon, it seems there is nobody but Anderson who really want this to happen.
Best Trailer of 2010: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (both films)
There have been a number of incredible trailers released this year, many greater than the films they were designed to tease (Killers, Eat Pray Love, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse), but the first glimpse of Warner Bros.’ Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows two parter held the bar firmly out of reach. Advertising two movies, one of which won’t be released until next year, the trailer teased enough action, drama and tragedy to fully justify it’s claims of The Motion Picture Event of a Generation.
Best Film: How to Train Your Dragon
Arriving with a welcome lack of hype, How to Train Your Dragon caught cynical critics off guard with its earnestness. A DreamWorks film without an intrusive voice cast, array of quickly dating popular culture references and boasting a delightfully derisive sense of humour, How to Train Your Dragon was not only the best DreamWorks movie, but one of the greatest animated movies ever made. Witty, spectacular and deeply moving, How to Train Your Dragon topped my list of the year’s best movies.
Worst Film: Clash of the Titans
A needless remake among many, Clash of the Titans stands out due to its lack of any single redeeming quality. Featuring a faceless cast, a misnomer title and an insultingly feckless use of the third dimension, Clash of the Titans was an altogether unenjoyable affair.
Best Remake/ Reboot/ Reimagining: Karate Kid
While Let Me In stands out as the obvious choice, and even Death at a Funeral provoked a few laughs, it was Karate Kid that really had me calling off the mob. Thanks to a distractingly mumblecore performance from it’s two leads, Let Me In clearly mistook the original’s loneliness for unsympathetic despondency resulting in one of Hollywood’s most monotonous retreads. Karate Kid, on the other hand, took the risk of replacing many of its forebear’s most memorable scenes and developing a romance that was missing from the original. An enthusiastic and entertaining performance from Jaden Smith carried a movie that was aimed shamelessly at an adult audience, far too long and intense for most pre-schoolers.
Worst Use of Photoshop: Sex and the City 2
You know the poster, the four leads (who am I kidding, Sarah Jessica Parker and her doting entourage) walking towards the camera, marred by some truly horrendous airbrushing. Although it is by no means the only crime against photo-shop to be inflicted on cinema-goers this year, it triumphs on account of Samantha Jones no longer having even a passing resemblance to actress Kim Cattrall. Seriously, does anyone know if Cattrall has accidentally watched a cursed video tape?
Best Dream: A Nightmare On Elm Street
Platinum Dunes’ A Nightmare on Elm Street was terrible, a sordid by-the-numbers retread that missed the point of Wes Craven’s original entirely. That said, however much I try I cannot bestow this award upon Christopher Nolan’s Inception. Although undoubtedly a good movie, this dream-set movie is infuriatingly undream-like. The opening demonstration of the power of the imagination is indeed remarkable, however this is quickly forgotten so our intenti-kit men in suits can go about looking serious and stuff. Much more effective is the snow-ridden bedroom that greets Rooney Mara’s character as she returns home, only for the floor to become a muddy quagmire as she tries to escape Freddy Kruger.
The “Jar Jar Binks” Award for Most Offensive CGI Character: Doormouse.
As ignorant of Eastenders as it’s possible to be, I was not quite prepared for the grating quality of Barbara Windsor’s voice. Combined with some brain-numbing characterisation and the knowledge that you are watching the defamation of one of the greatest pieces of children’s literature in existence, and you have a character even more annoying than Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows’ pathological house elf.
Most Unceremonious Cash-In: Avatar: Special Edition.
While it is always nice to watch never-before-seen footage from your favourite movies – largely to thank your own personal God for not including them in the theatrical cut – that is sort of what the special features disc was created for. Instead, James Cameron decided to re-release his box office juggernaut with an additional nine minutes added for audiences enjoyment. With 3D movies costing over £10 a ticket, and the extra few minutes proving decidedly disappointing, it is almost impossible to justify Avatar: Special Edition’s existence.
Best Adaptation: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
While I adored Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 and Matthew Vaughn’s beloved Kick-Ass, it was with only Scott Pilgrim vs. The World that I fell head over heals in lesbians. A deeply entertaining movie that flawlessly married computer game tropes with a comic-book sensibility onscreen, Scott Pilgrim is an absolute joy on almost every level. Fun, witty and visually arresting, it is a shamelessly enjoyable movie in a genre determined to go darker with every passing year.
Best Use of Vampires: Daybreakers
While Matt Reeves was beating Let the Right One In senseless with the boring stick, and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’s genuinely exciting opening chase sequence quickly gave way to yet more frowning, it was January’s Daybreakers that promised the only real original spin on the vampire mythology this year. Brash, loud and bloody, Daybreakers started 2010 with a gritty bite.
Best “Hey You Guys” Shout Out Award: Corey Feldman, Joey Pantoliano, Sean Astin and Richard Donner shouting it out during our interview at the 25th anniversary of The Goonies.
Best Round of Applause Moment in the Cinema Award: George McFly punches Biff’s lights out in Back to the Future, which was re-released at the cinema for its 25th anniversary.
Thank God I’m Single Award: Valentine’s Day.
Horrid, horrid film. Pass the bucket.
I Believe I can Fly Award: How to Train Your Dragon.
The soaring 3D landscape shots were absolutely, jaw-droppingly stunning.
It Was Acceptable in the 80s Award: Hot Tub Time Machine
Best use of Neon in a movie this year! Blindingly awesome great fun.
Sexiest Toga Party Award: Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief
That’s it for The Truffles for 2010 – have an excellent Christmas all, see you next year.