To this end HeyUGuys presents for your edification our movie awards – The Truffles. We asked our writers to sift through the movie mayhem of the past twelve months and come up with the awards they would want to see handed out.
We will be posting Part 1 of The Truffles today and we’ll be saving Part 2 for next Monday, so check back then for more awards.
Best ‘difficult second album’ of 2010: The Brothers Bloom
Released in the UK this year, far too long after its initial US release, Rian Johnson’s The Brothers Bloom provided me with two of the most enjoyable hours I spent at the cinema this year with its utterly charming and twisting conmen narrative. With The Brothers Bloom Johnson managed to live up to the potential he exhibited in his feature film debut Brick and I can’t wait to see what he brings to his next project, a time travel film entitled Looper.
Top 5 documentaries awaiting UK release: Tabloid, Marwencol, Boxing Gym, The Parking Lot Movie, Le Quattro Volte
2010 was a great year for documentaries and a number of these films led to a lot of interesting debate about their subject matter and also the tricky issue of authenticity. Many of the highlights of the festivals I attended this year were documentaries and the above five were all ones that I greatly enjoyed but are sadly not yet released in the UK (most are still seeking distribution).
Best Restoration: The ‘Complete’ Metropolis
One of my favourite ‘new’ releases this year was the 1927 film Metropolis. Following the discovery of a number of missing scenes in 2008 a new restoration of the film was undertaken that culminated this year with the release of the longest, most ‘complete’ version available in over eighty years.
Metropolis is a pleasure to watch and seeing the film with the restored footage was a fascinating experience. An honourable mention also goes to the recent restoration of Pandora’s Box shown at the London Film Festival. The restoration was overseen by Martin Koeber, who also oversaw the Metropolis restoration, and the film, like its star Louise Brooks, looked absolutely stunning.
‘Best’ release from The Asylum: 2010: Moby Dick
I watch an unhealthy number of films produced by The Asylum and this year I saw such direct to DVD gems as Titanic II, #1 Cheerleader Camp, Mega Piranha and 8213: Gacy House. They were, unsurprisingly, mostly terrible but one that rose out of the mire was the recent release 2010: Moby Dick. Although not exactly a ‘good’ film Moby Dick was still very enjoyable and for The Asylum it represented a marked improvement.
The Emperor’s New Clothes Award: Inception
For a film so incessantly praised for bringing intelligence to a disappointing summer of blockbusters, Inception was for me one of the most frustratingly flawed and brainlessly constructed films I saw this summer. Don’t be fooled, the emperor is naked.
The “I never thought it would happen, but It was actually a worst movie than The Back Up Plan” Award: Skyline.
Skyline was such an outrageously bad movie to begin with, but if that wasn’t enough, it decided to go double or nothing and end with one of the most unbelievable jaw droppingly bad movie endings in recent memory. Uninspired dialogue and hideous unlikeable characters added to its misery and despite the special fx on occasions being some nice eye candy it was never enough to save the movie from winning my worst movie of 2010 award.
The “Best Action movie but not for its storyline, acting or overall quality but for its insane scenes and testosterone fuelled contempt for life” Award: The Expendables
The Expendables was a ridiculous mess but it was pretty damn awesome too. With some great action stars doing what they do best and kill the hell out of bad guys, it delivered scene after scene of action and kills that kept most fans happy. With a sequel in development it will no doubt provide some more action movie legends with some more OTT action. Love it.
The “*$%* @£%$ *&%*@£ *&*$%” Award: 44 Inch Chest
Never has swearing been delivered by such a Shi*t l?ad in such a F**#ing confined space by the dogs B*llocks collection of British actors.
2010 opened up with 44 Inch Chest, you name an expletive and it was spoken in the cockney exploration of masculine egos at breaking point, with Ray Winstone, John Hurt, Ian McShane, Tom Wilkinson and Stephen Dillane delivering the profanities with remarkably consistent frequency. Swearing has never been so enjoyable.
The “Glad I’m not stuck in the middle of this line up” Award: The Human Centipede
The most disturbing concept ever committed to film? A remarkable film that is apparently 100% medically accurate and was a concept that arose from a joke the director made with friends about punishing child molesters by stitching their mouth to the anus of a fat truck driver.
Well, I wouldn’t want to be stuck in the middle, well done Human Centipede…..
The “Best Foreign Film that you should see if even if you can’t be bothered to read subtitles” Award: MicMacs
Jean Pierre Jeunet again created an absolute masterpiece of cinema with a film that told a thoroughly engaging story in the most visually beautiful way. Full of wonderful characters, ideas, humour and a relevant political message, Micmacs works on every level and is easily in my top 3 films of 2010 and the film I’ve watched most this year with 6 viewings so far. Truly wonderful.
The “Have we just made a better animated film than Pixar?” Award: How to Train Your Dragon
Gutted I missed this at the cinema but when I finally got round to seeing How to Train your Dragon it was an outstanding achievement of excellent animation, original story, humour, voice acting and class that more than matched some of the best Pixar films released. A real triumph.
The “Scene that got every adolescent boy to want to go to the cinema to see a chick flick” Award:
Ill fitting jean shorts as worn by Gemma Arterton.
The “Brian Blessed Power of the Beard” Award: Zach Galifianakis
Since his eye catching role in the Hangover, Zach Galifianakis has been a standout comedy performer this year having been cast in many enjoyable comedy roles in 2010 with the excellent TV series Bored to Death, some wonderful “Between two Ferns” episodes, Dinner for Schmucks and Due Date making it a good year for Zach with 2011 bringing the much anticipated Hangover 2.
Zach has the most recognizable beard in movies at the moment and long may it last.
The “Best Cinema Experience” Award: Inception
2010’s best cinema experience for me was easily watching Inception. I saw it twice, once at the IMAX and again in the front row of the cinema (which I rarely do) and experienced more excitement, entertainment and enjoyment than any other film in 2010.
The idea was fresh and original, the characters really interested me and plot was excellently crafted. Add to this some of the most technically outstanding set-pieces of action, some visually stunning special fx and the coolest looking collection of actors of 2010, it makes Inception easily my winner.
The “Best Holy Sh*t film Moment” Award: Inception
Shifting Gravity Spinning Hallway fight was my choice, Nolan took a well used filming technique of a rotating room with a fixed/moving camera and created one of the most technically brilliant movie moments of 2010 and a moment that blew me away.
The “Dude” Award for coolest film of 2010: Scott Pilgrim vs the World
I knew of the graphic novel before the film and was surprised that Edgar Wright was taking on a difficult concept to adapt but I never doubted he could make it work and he did, crafting the coolest film of 2010 by a bloody mile.
Visually it was a stunning movie perfectly crafting the feel of the graphic novel and casting the most wonderfully suitable actors in the iconic roles. Adding some truly geeky video game references with fantastic music and style it just blew my mind from start to finish. 1UP!
The “Phantom Menace – Biggest Movie Disappointment” Award: Predators
Want a Predator film that has nothing to do with them horrible Alien vs Predator films? Yeah!. Want a Predator film produced by Robert Rodriguez and is a direct sequel to them awesome original movies? Yeah Yeah!! Want a Predator film where Adrien Brody is your action movie star lead?.. *%@* off.
So much was wrong with Predators, Laurence Fishburne’s character should have been Arnie or Danny Glover. Terrible.
The “Most satisfying movie ending of the 2010” Award: Le Concert
The film has its flaws but the emotional impact of the conclusion when partnered with the fabulous Violin Concerto by Tchaikovsky made it one of the most incredible movie endings I saw this year by a mile. Utterly stunning.
The “Best Actor of all time based solely on two performances in 2010” Award: Nicholas Cage
Nicholas Cage stole 2010 for me with his turn as Big Daddy in Kick Ass and an even better effort in Bad Lieutenant.
With Kick Ass he and Chloe Moretz were the most watchable pairing this year and it was Cage’s imitation of Adam West’s 60’s Batman that made Big Daddy one of my favourite movie performances of 2010: physical, comical and entirely entertaining.
Then came Bad Lieutenant that blew every other acting display of 2010 out of the water. It’s a truly hypnotic performance of utter exceptional genius from Cage, it’s very underrated, deserves so much credit and is easily one of his best performances ever. You have to see this film.
The Golden Pig ‘Hammy’ Award: Clash of the Titans 3D.
All grown up since playing Nazi guards and German heroes Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes cannot go unnoticed in their on-screen reunion and Greek God-off as Zeus vs. Hades. Can anybody else smell a ham-a-thon? They truly deserve this year’s Hammy.
Worth the Wait Award: Inception.
Christopher Nolan was right to wait almost a decade before he tackled and released this beast of a movie. Definitely one of this year’s crowning achievements.
Kick-Ass Award: Goes to the tiny ninja Knives Chau (Ellen Wong) in Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.
Rising Starlet Award: Chloe Moretz.
Who’d have pegged the sage little sister from last year’s 500 days of Summer to transform so effortlessly into a superheroine (Kick-Ass) and blood-sucker (Let Me In) by 2010? This girl means business.
Death by Sci-Fi Award: Skyline.
Directors Colin and Greg Strause have clearly seen a lot of alien movies. So many in fact that they thought they might make a movie which tries to imitate not just one but ALL of them…to devastatingly tacky effect. Thanks for the giggle guys but those brain absorbing extra-terrestrials didn’t fool anybody!
The Cinematic Orgasm Award: The boat race scene in David Fincher’s The Social Network.
Hats off to Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for their remix and master of Hall of the Mountain King which burnt this sequence so effortlessly into my mind. Simply stunning.
Watch the Trailer Not the Movie Award: Letters to Juliet
Take my advice, save yourself the romantic horror because conveniently the trailer happens to reveal every step of the movie’s challenge-free plot and at no point do you have to acknowledge just how vile Amanda Seyfried’s love interest is.
Better Than Buzz Award: Goes, without a doubt, to How to Train your Dragon.
Despite Pixar’s greatly anticipated release of Toy Story 3, Dream Works’ Megamind and even Universal’s Despicable Me who can compete with a Viking called Hiccup and gummy adorable dragons? Sorry Woody, sorry Buzz. It’s all about Toothless.
Mission Impossible Award: Goes to the make-up artists of Alice in Wonderland for achieving the impossible: making Johnny Depp entirely unattractive.
Tim Burton has painted Johnny to the nines over the years but the Chucky meets Sideshow Bob mutation which was the Mad Hatter is frankly a face that not even a mother could love. How could you Tim?
Best of British: Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll / Tony
While most films this year have failed to live up to the hype, and much of the British output has been disgracefully bad, these two films, both granted limited releases early in the year, were exceptional.
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll, a biopic of proto-punk legend Ian Dury, was a simple, but fascinating story, told well, and performed by an incredible cast. Both entertaining and emotionally satisfying, it’s a shining example of what can be done with a small budget, a good script, and a creative production team.
Back in March, when I reviewed Tony, I said it shouldn’t work. It really shouldn’t. It doesn’t really go anywhere, it’s mostly improvised, and it’s so derivative, even the title is an homage to Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer. It really does though. It’s a fantastic film that’s willing to take risks with storytelling. Lead actor Peter Ferdinando puts in by far the best performance of any actor in any film this year, and in spite of its tiny budget, it looks great.
Should have been so much better: Solomon Kane
Unlike Tony, Solomon Kane really should have been good. Based on a fun, pulpy property, and starring James Purefoy, one of the most charismatic actors working today, it could have been an enjoyably daft fantasy romp.
Instead it was an utter dirge. Overly serious, utterly self-important and entirely boring. The very definition of a wasted opportunity.
Best Introduction to a Character /Most Enjoyable Three Minutes Of Any Film This Year: Kick-Ass
Kick-Ass may have been a little inconsistent, but it was pretty good fun. No more so than when we were first introduced to pint-sized psychopath Hit Girl. A combination of bright colours, ultra-violent action, and the theme tune to the Banana Splits, it’s as beautifully deranged on the twentieth viewing as it is the very first time around.
The ‘Bronson’ Award For Most bizarre Film Of The Year: Valhalla Rising (Honourable Mention: Enter The Void)
I’ve now seen Valhalla Rising three times, and I’m still not entirely sure what happens in it. Ostensibly the story of Vikings travelling to America, it doesn’t even try to make sense. There’s also a pretty good chance that if you play it backwards it either opens the gates of Hell, or reveals a recipe for chicken soup.
Enter The Void is also completely nuts, but it’s incredibly self indulgent, and made me feel physically sick. I also sort of hate it, but don’t let that put you off, I have an awful taste in films.
Cinematic Horlicks: Robinson In Ruins
Consisting entirely of lots of pretty pictures of landscapes, and an entirely non-sequitous voice-over, Robinson In Ruins is, essentially, an art project. The fact that the voice-over is read by Vanessa Redgrave also makes it the most relaxing film I’ve ever watched. Watch it lying on a beanbag, and relaxing into a semi-hypnotic daze – bliss.
Film I Really Should Have Seen By Now: The Illusionist
There are so many films I haven’t watched this year, but The Illusionist is the one at the top of my list. Still, it’s out on DVD on Valentines Day, so if anyone reading this loves me, you know how to show it.
And while we’re on the subject of Valentines Day…
Unreasonable Expectations Award: Valentines Day
In February, I went with my girlfriend of two and a half years to see Valentines Day. The next day we broke up, apparently because she ‘saw how happy the people in the film were, and realised [she] wasn’t’.
Irrational Love: Whip It!
Drew Barrymore’s directorial debut may not be high art, but it’s great fun. One of the better films of 2010, and also (probably) the reason this video exists.
The Totally Missed the Point Award: Let Me In
Taking one of the most interesting films of the last few years as it’s starting point, Let Me In, strips it of the wit, charm and subtlety that made it great, and replaces it with an obnoxious soundtrack, bombast and blood.
Much of Let Me In feels like director, Matt Reeves, has made decisions simply to avoid replicating scenes from the superior original, and in doing so greatly misses the point. The original film isn’t a horror, but a coming of age story. Let Me In never seems totally sure what it is. I am. It’s a mess.
Worst Film Ever Award: In Our Name
In Our Name is an awful, hateful film. Badly written, badly researched, and with no real grasp on reality, it feels like an extended episode of Doctors, but much worse.
At some point I’ll write a full post mortem of this terrible, disgusting waste of money, but at the moment life’s too short. Take my word for it though, it’s terrible, and anyone who ever wants to get into the film industry should watch it as a guide to how not to make a movie.
That’s it for Part 1 – check back next week for more Truffles.