Uwe Boll. Two words that conjure up an instant impression, like “Mahatma Gandhi”, or “Mother Theresa”, only a bit different. Uwe Boll has, as a director, foisted on the public some of the most excremental film products known to mankind. I’m delighted to confess that my evidence here is anecdotal rather than first-hand, but consider the following lines of dialogue from some of his offerings:-
Fear is what protects you from the things you don’t believe in.
Rudy: You did all this to become immortal. Why?
Castillo: To live forever!
We finally got to the boat but it wasn’t there.
Guys, check out this book. Looks pretty old, maybe it’ll help us!
Y’all feel me? Aaron Sorkin is rumoured to be not feeling especially threatened. Anyway, Boll’s latest project is as producer only and is yet another in a long line of exceedingly poor video-game adaptations, called Zombie Massacre. I suppose we can surmise what it might be about from the title, though the video game in question goes back to the days of Doom, Quake and Duke Nuke ‘Em, but was available on the Amiga. With no hint of irony whatsoever, the poster states that it is a Uwe Boll production, just below the tagline “The Is No Hope”. Hmm.
Latino Review have been kind enough to give us the poster and also some YouTube footage of the game intro and footage. Zombie Massacre will be directed by Marco Ristori (who co-directed and co-wrote Eaters for Boll) and Luca Boni, who has an SFX background and co-directed Eaters. There’s a trailer for Eaters below as well. I’m not sure why. I suppose it gives you a sense of what to expect from a “Uwe Boll Presents” tag, but in all honesty I think this is only going to upset most people.
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