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Now we’re by no means keen advocates of the remake. It seems somewhat lazy, and perhaps too obvious an endeavour for filmmakers, not to mention the fact that any wrong move could tarnish an otherwise treasured piece of cinema (The Wicker Man… Anyone? ANYONE?).

However what can be rather good fun, is speculating on the notion of a remake anyway, which is exactly what we’ve done – as we have recast five classic movies with modern actors and actresses. No matter how brilliant these may be, which is inevitable, obviously – we sincerely hope they never get made.

Home Alone

It’s no easy task replacing the charisma of the young Macaulay Culkin, so we figured, rather than try and emulate that, let’s go sinister. Let’s pick a kid who’ll not only terrorise the ‘Wet Bandits’, but get an unmeasurable amount of joy doing so. Which leaves us with one actor – Pierce Gagnon. Otherwise known as the evil kid from Looper. Job done.


The ‘Wet Bandits’ themselves, the two villains who hope to defeat the young kid and invade his property, need to go to actors who are not just clumsy, but appear genuinely mean-spirited, and even formidable in parts.

So the actors that sprung to mind are Giovanni Ribisi, to replace Joe Pesci and play Harry, with the role of the sidekick, Marv, going to Nicolas Cage. Erratic, volatile and inelegant – these two would make for the perfect antagonists.


For the supporting cast, we felt we may as we reunite Mad Men pairing Christina Hendricks and Jon Hamm to play Kevin’s parents, while giving British actor Will Poulter the chance to show off his more objectionable side, as the acrimonious older brother, Buzz.

As for the creepy old man with the shovel, well, why not Robert Duvall?

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