I can’t decide if this is a brilliant re-imagining of the greatest literary romance or a feckless and ignoble waste of talent.

Gnomeo and Juliet is described by professional synopsis writers as ‘hilarious’ and ‘action-packed’ and ‘3D’ with ‘high-speed lawnmower chases’ promised in amongst all the ‘gnomance’.

The puns on the three new posters don’t so much tickle the ribs as kick you to the ground and stamp their hilarity onto your face forever. Whatever picture of the future we end up with take a look at the cast and weep openly as you imagine what they could have done with their time if they weren’t recording voices for this film – James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Matt Lucas, Maggie Smith, Michael Caine, Stephen Merchant, Ashley Jensen, Jason Statham and Ozzy Osbourne.

Yes – Ozzy is in the film too. Don’t believe me?

And there’s more! A Trailer and images – right here! Click you fools, click!

Ok, so you’ve survived so far – here’s the three new posters. The middle one in particular makes me want to drag this film out into the street and lay waste to its charmless drollery.

Don’t look at me – this is IMPA’s fault.