It now appears (with thanks to THR for the tip-off) that he isn’t the only one who has ways of delaying/stopping the aging process, with proof now arriving on eBay that another huge star, Nicolas Cage, is in fact a vampire.
I kid you not. An eBay seller who goes by the name jack_mord has put up a listing on the American version of the site for a picture he says is of Nicolas Cage, with the picture dating circa 1870, taken in Bristol, Tennessee, and measuring 4” x 2.5”.
“Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.
I’ve had a lot of questions asking where I purchased this. As followers of my website know, I collect antique memorial photography – images of dead people – from the 1800s. This photo was found in the very back of album that contained an unusual number of Civil War era death portraits (which is why I purchased it). All of the other people in the album, living and dead, were identified by name – this man was not.”
And the asking price for this monumental find? A cool $1m. And if you’re worried that he’ll get you on the postage and package, you can put your fears aside, my friends, because international shipping is just $3.95.
Of all the crazy things that I’ve seen go up on eBay, this has got to be one of the strangest. You hear stories about people buying air guitars on there, and things like that, but a million-dollar photo of Nicolas Cage from the nineteenth century, proving him to be a vampire? Not to mention the fact that it is of course utterly unverifiable.
The seller does do a pretty good/amusing job of answering people’s questions about its authenticity, though. Credit where credit’s due.
“Q: Vampires can’t be photographed. Which means neither this man in a photo or an actor in a photoplay/movie could be a vampire. Whatcha say to that?
A: If vampires can’t be photographed, how do you explain this? http://bit.ly/nuNHcd”
Touché, salesman.
I have a lot of love for Nicolas Cage, and would probably happily welcome his undead status if it were true, because that would mean he could potentially be in a never-ending number of films and still keep his ridiculously cool persona however many years down the line. But sadly, I remain just a tad sceptical.
From what I can tell, the listing is ending pretty soon, so I’ve taken the liberty of taking a few screenshots and embedding them below in case it finishes before you get a chance to take a look. Or, slightly less likely, in case someone buys it and the listing closes. Either way, I wanted to keep it for posterity. At the time of writing, the seller has had more than two hundred offers on the photograph, all of which have been declined. But if you happen to have a million dollars lying around for just such an occasion, then this photo could well be yours. Good luck with your offers.
