The one where there are a load of facts about Chuck Norris and people list them and laugh at them. The facts that make Chuck sound like some sort of malevolent God from the planet awesome. The facts that have been circulating the internet for so long and so loudly that even mentioning them is clichéd beyond credibility.
The ones that go like this:
- Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
- Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t have a chin behind his beard. Just another fist.
You know, those facts. The ones that you hate me for recounting. God I’m ashamed of myself…
Well Chuck isn’t just some karate kicking cliché or some occasional brainless sex object there to be ironically lauded to the detriment of everyone who chooses to do so 6 years on from the facts’ inception. He’s a serious man. And will be treated as such thank you very much.
Yep, Chuck has had enough of the vulgarity that surrounds him and has made a stand with his latest appearance in The Expendables 2. Whereas the film is being pitched (as was the first) as a no-holds barred, violent, sweary, adult smash-fest of silly proportions, Chuck Norris in an interview with Polish site Gazeta has claimed that one of his conditions for signing up to the project was that the film clean up its act and cut out the hardcore swearing that Norris doth abhor so much in order to get a PG-13 rating. You know, for the kids:
The ExpendablesPremiere.com transcription of the interview shows Norris’ message as being:
In Expendables 2, there was a lot of vulgar dialogue in the screenplay. Fot this reason, many young people wouldn’t be able to watch this. But I don’t play in movies like this. Due to that I said I won’t be a part of that if the hardcore language is not erased. Producers accepted my conditions and the movie will be classified in the category of PG-13.
Well this all sounds very silly doesn’t it. If The Expendables 2 really was going for a PG-13 rating in the US then surely the language isn’t the only thing that would have to be toned down. Also since Norris surely doesn’t have that much sway in the grand scheme of things his requests will surely amount to nothing.
Even so, as a man of apparently strong moral convictions and with an internet fame that has now surely surpassed his status as a cult film star maybe it’s time that he made a stand against the ravages of two-dimensional fame. Good for you Chuck, although next time maybe don’t make a stand by starring in a film that is fundamentally defined by its R rating. I mean without blood and some fruity language what’s left? The ground breakingly nuanced performances?