Always more content when punching dreadlocked aliens, physical manifestations of the antichrist and pretty much everyone to death than when using ‘ideas’, ‘rhetoric’ and ‘any semblance of intelligence’ to get things done, it did indeed seem strange when Arnie was elected Governor of California in 2003. After slowly departing into his tenure in politics through a slew of tired and mechanically deficient star vehicles (ending with the competent tedium of Terminator 3) he disappeared from our screens almost completely. For eight years he subsisted upon minor roles, meagre cameos and his estimated 0 million fortune until his political career ended and his personal life collapsed amongst allegations of extra-marital affairs and children.
But today, no longer wanted by the government, Arnie looks once again to survive as soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire: Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Scott Waugh and Mike McCoy have evidently found him and given him a bunch of money so come April 1st, 2012 filming will commence on Black Sunday (hitherto known as Black Sands), a project that on initial announcement had Schwarzenegger playing “a loner who wages war against a ruthless weapons manufacturer and his private army in the Southwest.” But just as I was about to fall asleep onto my keyboard as I typed out that description, Arnie (speaking to TheArnoldFans) has come out and declared a change to proceedings; “I’m a kind of angel. I cannot currently say more about this film.”
Well I’ll be damned, the film that started out as a generic actioner has about turned into the realms of the supernatural. It’s gone from something like Collateral Damage into a cross between Commando and Constantine. So that’s End of Days then.
Come to think of it maybe Arnie in a superficial bid to return as a relevant force could just mash up a load of his old greats with some hefty religious classics (not to say that Constantine isn’t a religious classic of course, it’s all subjective). Think Rambo and The Greatest Story Ever Told. Conan and the Ten Commandments. The Terminator of Nazareth.
But cut away the dollop of mystic fluff heaped on what sounds to be a creaky action thriller and it seems we’re back to the stereotypical Arnie of yore.
But after gliding through his movie career with nothing more than muscles, well chosen projects and a precision crafted cliché to which the likes of Steven Seagal and Jason Statham can only aspire that’s fine by me. He never laid claim to being the next De Niro that’s for sure. Although he’s probably going to end up playing out his senior years in a helluva more graceful fashion than old ‘comedy’ Bob whether he clumsily punches his way to retirement or not.
