As Wikipedia would have it (and I’m sure you know), “Battleship is an upcoming 2012 science fiction naval war film based on the game of the same name”. A science fiction naval war film to place amongst the illustrious canon of science fiction naval war films, I’m sure. A science fiction naval war film that will turn the tables on the haters and their grim view (or indeed lack of any view whatsoever) of the science fiction naval war film genre. And with a budget of 0 million it’ll be a science fiction naval war film fit to rule them all.
Outside of satisfying the niche that no one ever considered filling, however, you may be thinking how the hell those maniacs over at Hasbro have turned a table-top classic into a Hollywood blockbuster. Well they’ve done it by disregarding the intricacies of the guess-’em-up boardgame and by taking a more bombastic, alien-heavy approach in which ships battle in a way that tenuously pertains to the title and the game itself. But with aliens, which doesn’t really pertain at all:
The new poster seems to promise much battling by at least one unlucky ship, probably with that humongous alien thing rising up out of the sea. Remember that time when you were playing Battleships with your dad when you were a kid and your dad said D4 and an extra-terrestrial monstrosity rose up and put a load of explosive shells into your four-square long one and it exploded and you cried? Me neither, but the film does look like a load of dumb fun with Liam Neeson looking to carry on his recent (and very successful) Samuel L. Jackson-esque “I’ll star in anything you can pay me enough for” streak, albeit tragically induced by the untimely death of his wife.
I myself am looking forward to the whole “I have never ever seen a man waste himself better than you” thing Neeson and Taylor Kitsch have got going on in the trailer. It’s going to be facile beyond belief but so’s the game – see I knew there was another connection in there somewhere.
One thing’s for sure. In 2012 ships will most definitely battle:
Source: IMP Awards
