Video game Movie Tie-Ins.
Can’t live with them, can totally live without them.
Short of X-Men Origins: Wolverine – which, imperfect as it was, managed to bring the big-haired one’s irresistibly contagious bloodlust to life – video adaptations of our favourite big screen heroes have been as woeful as they come.
Still, with Thor currently ripping up all kinds of preconceived assumptions at the big screen (seriously, it’s better than ‘Magic Hammer Man’ may sound), it’s only fitting that we suspended belief and judgement before playing the game.
While the movie has action scenes aplenty, it also happens to spend half its duration stuck in a quaintly Americana backwater town doing lots of ‘talky’ segues, so unsurprisingly the game has decided to walk its own path – one that accompanies the movie version without paying direct tribute to it.
As such, it’s third person action adventure’o’clock, as you take control of Mr God Man ‘Thor’ himself to right wrongs (read: smash things in the face) across four Asgardian worlds, and face off against his mischievous (read: bastardly evil) brother Loki who’s inevitably in cahoots and behind the whole thing.
Still, with the main cast’s voices and likenesses on board (Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston reprise their movie roles), and the Unreal engine powering proceedings, it’s all looking promising.
That is, until you play it.
You can tell that SEGA were aiming for a God of Thor experience by putting you in the shoes of a God unleashed, and prodding you along a path that finds you clobbering nameless mythical goons (and gargantuan boss battles) aplenty in between the occasional platforming or puzzle-solving section to mix things up.
On the plus side, when it looks pretty, it looks REALLY pretty. Hammers, foes, chest plates and backgrounds all glisten magnificently, and the mega boss battles give off an appropriately grandiose sense of scale.
However, these moments are sporadic, with general gameplay pitting you against any number of uninspired hammer fodder, and some disappointingly inept collision detection and camera conspiring against you at every turn.
There are a decent array of moves to play around with, including melee, grapple and long range attacks, as well as a healthy amount of magic attacks (broken up into thunder, wind and lightning themes), and an admirable ‘power-up’ system.
But that’s all but useless when you’re continually hampered by an anodyne lock-on system, and an oddly detached control mechanic. There’s no real heft behind the God you’re controlling – it feels like he skims the surface of each area he runs across, one of the hero’s greatest assets – his flight – is reduced to shoddy looking ‘mega jumps’ from one arena to the next, and there’s no real wallop or sense of connection with each of the enemies you send flying across the screen.
It’s not the worst movie tie-in you’ll ever play, and if you’re a massive fan of the character, there’ll be a certain level of jones-ing associated with taking control, but for anybody used to God of War, Bayonetta, Devil May Cry or any of the other countless action adventure games out there, it’s severely lacking.
I’m not going to lie. I had a whole host of Thor puns ready for my movie review.
It’d be a waste to let the rubbish-er ones go to waste. So, in summary?
God of Chore.
[Rating:2.5/5]
Thor: God of Thunder is on General Release now, and available on Xbox 360 and PS3.
