It’s October, and that means we can look forward to all manner of low-budget, schlocky horror films released in the hopes of achieving temporary cult relevance. This week’s gory contender is Paul Hyett’s Howl, a claustrophobic ‘werewolves on a train’ thriller that offers plenty of bloodletting. It’s just a shame that it offers little in the way of scares, laughs, storytelling… Or even a basic understanding of the British rail system.

The film opens with our protagonist Joe (Ed Speleers), a sullen train guard with an inferiority complex to rival Ronnie Kray. Passed over for promotion and ridiculed by passengers his ascent to manhood through werewolf baiting is eye-rollingly predicable. You almost feel like much of the supporting cast is deliberately written to be excessively obnoxious just to make Joe more sympathetic. They’re all stock horror movie characters who are so shouty, sleezy, ignorant or just plain inept that you’re aching for their gruesome deaths before the train even breaks down.

To Howl’s credit once said breakdown occurs it doesn’t try to rush things. Dispatching the driver (an all too brief performance from Sean Pertwee) and allowing the tension to brew between the already on-edge passengers. When attempts to leave the carriage result in a nasty bite for one of the passengers (Ania Mason) the film basically devolves into a hairier version of The Thing. Not a bad setup for a horror film though it does ignore the Jekyll and Hyde quality that’s key to most werewolf films. Something like Dog Soldiers’ ironic military machismo can easily compensate for this but Howl is sadly lacking such novelty, not to mention effects budget.

As the third act rolls around and the werewolves become more visible it’s clear that Howl doesn’t have the money or creativity to make an effective horror film. The practical shots are clumsy, rubbery suits and the CGI wouldn’t pass for early 2000s video game. Not to mention Mason’s big transformation scene, one of the most unintentionally hilarious moments in film this year. Grinning and holding her arms up in a constant ‘Thriller’ pose she resembles an untrained backing dancer rather than a feral hell-beast. We then descend into a chaotic and ostentatious finale that doesn’t so much horrify as amuse.

Howl may be bad but it is bad in that fun, horror movie way, on par with the likes of Troll 2 and Jason X. From a purely creative standpoint though it’s just plain bad. Almost none of the scares have the power to chill or even briefly shock. The dialogue is clumsily written, the characters are annoying and what few jokes there are utterly fail to land. Give this one a miss until the Bad Film Club starts screening it.